my orkut profile ... gonna b updated soon...

i'm back to my page after a short lay-off..... sheesh, how fast time flies....as a matter of fact, i'm thinking about updating my profile on orkut.... this one's d current one.. about me: The world bore witness to an event that was unprecedented in the course of history on May 3rd ,'87...

History was being re-written..

Never before had something so momentous been mentioned in d annals of history.....

As always,my sense of occasion is awesome.....

A story had begun to come to life..

..... With its share of ups n downs,
little intricacies,

feel-good touches of life,
a thousand smiles with one or two tears in between,

a hodgepodge of triumphs n defeats,

a gamut of emotions,

a heady mix of light-heartedness n a million nonchalant shrugs ,

a few pangs of guilt,

some sepulchral moments n some invigorating ones too ,

a couple of roadblocks n some twists n turns,

lots of warmth interspersed with short bouts of coldness ,

wild overbearing colours n a few pale lingering shadows ,

a couple of adamant stands n long periods of mellowed down approaches,

buoyance to the hilt n a few spasmodic despondent situations ,

a million whistles n a few yells,

innumerable yawns n battling eyelashes...

feelings of satiety n moments of avarice....

short temporal periods of belligerence n an uneasy calm thereafter....

repugnant n revulsive thoughts sharing camaraderie with benign n benevolent ones....

long tempestuous nights of doubts n sunny days of cognition n insight...

maelstroms of crime n the clear waters of innocence....

the high winds of change n the windswept corners of a puzzled mind,

The story continues......

And when it ends , it shall be hailed as the greatest story ever told - My Life......


And i'm sure about that ....


In fact ,damn sure .....!!

Farewell ...

I'm shocked.... I'm still in the dark as to why u chose to leave us so suddenly .... You'd been an integral part of my life for the past seven years.... You've left a void in my heart that'll stay forever..... Knowing u , I know u would wish me to get on with my normal life but it's easier said than done.... You were a gem and so u shall always be.... You can't be replaced. You were always so serious,scholarly n detached but I love u for everything that u were.... You were always a strict disciplinarian n sometimes I've been irritated a lot by your serious side , but having watched u from such close quarters , I swear upon my heart that you've indeed left a mark on our lives.
I'd taken certain things in life for granted. One was you ; although I didn't have the slightest idea that u were switching loyalties to the One above.
I won't be seeing u again , reading the newspaper , when I leave for college as usual in the morning... I won't be able to see u, again at the porch with a newspaper in hand, when I come back from college in the evening.... These days, all that I can see is your chair in the verandah remain unoccupied... It's tough thinking that u are no more in this world ... I can never forget those familiar sights n sounds... your baritone voice , your evening walks, your advice , your love for communism .. everything..
I couldn't be with u on your last birthday n I know I'll carry that regret into my grave.... You used to inquire about things that no one bothered to ask n I appreciate u for that... U were never over-bearing; u knew best when to keep a distance.. I never used to go out without telling u .. I haven't broken the custom ... still, I come to your room even though i will never be able to see u there.... Your chair now resides in my room.... likewise , everything about u continues to reside in my heart.... You've gone on a journey ... n I couldn't give u a proper farewell...
I was with u that morning for a long time ... I helped u with your breakfast n u seemed to be at ease.... if only I'd known.... why didn't u tell me when I asked u whether u felt alright ? I don't know why ... but i had felt an urge to hug u tight that morning ... i didn't want u to go... I couldn't do so... it all seemed too affectionate ... I know u wouldn't have liked it... You chose to go at a moment when I wasn't present... instead,I'd been in front of this very same computer... I was expecting the worst when mom called me downstairs urgently ... My world was crushed in a flash ... It was the first time I felt alone in my life.. I should 've broken down had I not seen your face...
I was looking at a man's contented face ...a man whose life was well-lived .... who was loved n respected by all... who was the guardian of our family ... who had a dignity beyond compare.... a man who had taught me a lot about life... a noble man who still lives in our hearts..... One look n I got the courage to face everything...
While u were alive, u were the guardian of our family..Now u r our guardian angel .... I know you'll be there to guide me through the rest of my life....

Thank you. I'll always miss you.
Deepu.

Totalled !!

Actually i wanted to write a lot but my confidence is at its nadir ..... really, i'mgroping in the darkness ... I feel totally spent.... BUT I promise I'll come back a better person.... btw, I made a few new year resolutions n these r the hopes to which I cling on desperately in these dark, testing times.... the world is cruel and it shall always be so .... I'll have to take the bull by the horns n not go round its back n pull the tail !! I won't bow..... i will never do that.... i will prevail .....i will ..... i will ... i will..... I have it in me.... My spirit 'll come out stronger...It can never be broken... Nothing shall ebb my confidence.... I vow to strike back.... I WILL ... I WILL.... I WILL...